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 Tangled Dimensions RPG vFINAL(fantasy).6

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PostSubject: Tangled Dimensions RPG vFINAL(fantasy).6   Fri 23 May 2014, 11:24 pm

"Ohmagosh what in hell is Ray doing here?! Ew does he have grown-up cooties now? Why is his name yellow? Ken, when did you add that to the forums?"

All excellent questions, only one of which I will answer: "Meh, Nothing". I'll leave you to guess which one that's answering or accept it as the answer for all.

Oh yeah, this thread. *achem* Well in my absence, I am please to announce that after bribing Apple with $15 and a couple of sleepless nights of planning, I have COMPLETED A PLAYABLE VERSION OF THE TANGLED DIMENSIONS RPG!

I had to cut a few corners, though. Apple may have accepted my $15 bribe, but I couldn't get away with the piece of crap original story of sentient hedgehogs, foxes, robots, and other miscellaneous woodland creatures running around and shoehorning Demons and Angels as obscure plot points. So the story had to be adjusted slightly. So no furry porn this time around. In fact, I had to alter so many things that I still have to play test the thing to find out the full story myself! This was such a tremendous undertaking that I decided it was good enough news for me to pop up on these damned forums again to chronicle my play test!

Spoiler:
 

I'll try not to spoil too much of the story, in case you would like to play the game yourself. I'll mostly focus on character introductions and basic development points. I even brought screenshots!

Chapter 1: A Hot Chick, Robots, and Steampunk

First off, we have the start of the game. Three magic robots attributed to an Imperial Army storm through a town in a world where Steampunk is all the rage. Magic was a thing of the past until the Empire re-discovered it, or something to that effect. Two Imperial Soldiers on their Magic Robot mounts are toting along a Tealish Green-haired young lady with mysterious magic powers, who has been completely brainwashed by a magic slave crown, she also has her own Magic Robot Mount.

They do stuff. They find a thingie buried in ice, Teal-Hair does some magic connection thingie subconsciously, next thing we know the two Soldiers are sucked up into nothing and Teal-Hair wakes up in a bed. Now as humorously unsurprising it would be to find out that Teal-Hair is her actual name, I only paid $15 bucks to get this done and there's only six characters allowed for a name, so instead we learn her true name...



Hey, she's acting against her wishes by an outside force, she has magic powers connected to her acting against her wishes by an outside force, memory wipes and hazings are involved...the only thing she's missing is a cybernetic arm. I guess that'll get added in the sequel.

She has been rescued by this handsome fellow.



Hm...Treasure Hunter, traveler, generally Chaotic Neutral in personality, class dictates him as a thieving-



Condemnit Kan let me give you the proper entrance before you make yourself known. God, even in a video game you never change. Also what the heck's up with you having a butt-kicking ribbon in your sprite but an obnoxious hat in your profile? Bah, I blame the low budget. I'll try to get it fixed in a patch or the sequel later. Unfortunately DerpWolfies was commissioned to do any new art, and we all know how he is with getting things like that done quickly. >_> Look forward to the new patch at the end of time.

Chapter 2: One Sweet Castle and a Couple of New Guys.

Now where was I...oh yeah, stuff happening. Xaina and Kan escape pursuit by the Imperial Fascists Regime that from my understanding is supposed to represent B.L.A.C.K. They mucked some things up there, but eh, low budget. Kan tells Xaina he's got a buddy who can help them out, so he takes her to the middle of a desert to this fashionable sight.



A desert castle? Huh, that's unique. I like it! I wonder how many people the king had to slave-drive to get it built. Probably at least three or four to set up the quarry to harvest the materials to build it. Sounds like an efficient man. I'm eager to meet him.





Impressive architecture. Quite the wealthy fellow too, it seems. Oh wait, Kan's friend is the king of this magnificent castle? Well I'll be damned.



And a gentleman too! I'll ignore the Sonic the Hedgehog pose considering I didn't even acknowledge Kan's own Kodak moment.



Hm...young, smart, likes women, owns a Desert Citadel, I haven't gotten an appearance yet and so far Kan's stealing my woman, his armor is green in the original SNES version...I think it's obvious who's representing this fellow.



"Rayford" is one character too many, and I can't help but think "Rayfer" actually looks somewhat neater. The budget cut actually did something good for once. Who's the guy in the dress? ...We'll get to him in a moment. Well Xaina, since she's barely maintaining sanity, doesn't want to speak to the king that's obviously hitting on her, so instead she does what all women do: gossip about him with the maidens and learns some additional facts...



Oh yes I have.



...Eh, it's worth it for the Desert Castle. Which happens to annoy the antagonist!



BECAUSE DESERT CASTLES ARE AWESOME, YOU CULTURALLY DEAF LITTLE CLOWN-HEADED FREAK!!!

*achem* If I could name the villain, it would totally be Cicero, or InAkéz, as in "insane Akézam". George already has a higher purpose, sadly. Now then, let's head back to the subject of the young man in what from the side looks like a dress. He is...



Hm...now who do I appreciate enough to be considered my brother...who also leaves on an adventure, has poofy pants, studies fighting under a master, has spiky hair, is forced to fight one of his buddies when the buddy betrays his master-oh yeah, that happens. I'll keep the name reveal in suspense for this narration.

First, we head off to a pub and run into this guy.



Hm...more chaotic neutral than Kan, can't pick a side to save his life, comes off as trying to be edgy, has a habit of leaving in the middle of important things...Rayfer knows exactly who this is.



After we completely ignore that guy, we go for a hike in the mountains so we can get to a secret base on the other side, and we eventually run into this jackhead.



My crossbow is not very effective, Kan's trying to steal stuff from his pockets but is even less efficient, Xaina's trying to keep our health up but this guy keeps hammering at her specifically, all seems lost! Condemnit, I don't want to see what the game over screen looks like yet! Wait, what's this? Is that a guy in a dress jumping in to our defense?

No...it's-



Nice entrance there, Ken. Good timing, too. Pummel this jackhead, please, I'll promise not to laugh at how odd your outfit looks from a side angle.





Thank you! Your pants are precisely poofy and your special ability is complexly phenomenal enough if one is educated enough to actually comprehend how to maneuver it!



Yes you will, yes you will...well that's enough picture-spamming for now. Don't worry if you have yet to make a glorious appearance in the game yet, this is only part two and there's still nine more playable characters in this game!

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PostSubject: Re: Tangled Dimensions RPG vFINAL(fantasy).6   Fri 23 May 2014, 11:38 pm

Aww, I'm your brother. How sweet.
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PostSubject: Re: Tangled Dimensions RPG vFINAL(fantasy).6   Sat 24 May 2014, 1:52 am

Second Protag throughout game, aw yiss.
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PostSubject: Re: Tangled Dimensions RPG vFINAL(fantasy).6   Sat 24 May 2014, 8:42 am

It doesn't matter if I'm not in it, I hope the game turns out awesome!
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PostSubject: Re: Tangled Dimensions RPG vFINAL(fantasy).6   Sat 24 May 2014, 10:21 am

I'll fix those battle screenshots and all future screenshots in a moment; apparently iPad screenshots are too big for this forum.

EDIT: Looks like it's only my iPad that thinks the images are too large...huh. Odd.

EDITv2.0: Ok, from now on if something's hiding on the right side of the screenshot, I'll ensure the picture is click-able so you can get to the full sized image.

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PostSubject: Re: Tangled Dimensions RPG vFINAL(fantasy).6   Mon 26 May 2014, 11:01 pm

Part 3: ...Where Were We Going, Again?



Thank you, Rayfer. This is why I am appointing you as the leader of Alpha Team. Well, that, and because I'm an arrogant fool and I will make every effort to ensure my counterpart is a major character and not just a supporting cast member.

Can I just say I love how Final Fantasy VI is set up so that you can choose which character of your party you control when you're wandering about? It lends itself so well with their approach of "not necessarily one major primary protagonist" in the game, and for immersion purposes if you want to pretend Locke, Terra, and Celes aren't the only people who matter. That. of course, is irrelevant to this brand new Tangled Dimensions RPG I bribed Apple into making for me, but I felt like saying it.

For those who are obviously wondering where the heck that location came from, I accidentally got swept up in cutscenes and didn't bother taking screenshots, so whoops. I'm also keeping spoilers to bare minimum. Basically, they're going to this hidey-hole in a mountain to scheme scheme-worthy things, because...



Oh, so we're Stormcloaks now? Yeah, we're totally Stormcloaks. Works for me, it means I don't have to bother stealing an already established Square Enix name. Down with the Thalmor pigs!

After reaching Stormcloak HQ, Kan goes to "recon" as an excuse to "treasure hunt" in a "city" that is now under "siege". To compensate for this, we get on a boat with this classy old man.



Spoiler:
 

I couldn't name enter developer codes for this guy, which means he's a temporary character. The game names him "Banon".

EvanPlayzGamez wrote:
It doesn't matter if I'm not in it, I hope the game turns out awesome!

You know what, for the heck of it, and because I know my bribe with Apple was well placed and they saw the future, anyone who is not already planned to be in the main playable cast will be shoehorned into this game by forcing parallels with guys like this. Starting with this fellow.

Since his full name is never given to my knowledge I am considering it canon that his middle name is "Ron", Banon Ron Somethingorother. "Banon" is an anagram of "bonna", an "m" is basically just two conjoined twin Ns, and when you sandwich a "boma" between a "Ro" and an "n", you get Roboman. Banon is Roboman. Totally. Congratulations, you're an oracle who partially runs the Stormcloaks and rides with us on a boat back to Steampunk Iceland.

We fight this retarded Octopus, but he was too retarded and quick for me to get a picture this first time (next time I will be prepared...). Keneth can't wait for next time and decides to dive after him Turtle-Man-Style: shirtless and screaming "YEEYEEYEEYEEYEE!"



Rayfer's pleas swayed him from going to that extreme, but he still dove in shirtfull and punched the annoying trollsquid a couple of times in the face, only to be swept up by a current in a scene I was too busy gawking at to bother photographing. I gotta stop doing that.

Suddenly, the screen blacks out and we end up outside the universe in what I assume is a spiritual median-realm only so I can cram in an over-arching angel-demon plot point. And because that's the only possible explanation for why I'm controlling a Moogle that may or may not become a playable character later.



There's only one heathen who could exist both in the game and in this median plane of existence, but since I'm not given a text box yet I'll just leave you to assume...let's go with Speeder, for now.

First, Rayfer, Xaina, and Old Man Baron. If it weren't for that stupid oracle healing-machine playing third wheel, Rayfer would totally hit on Xaina and succeed this time on a romantic boat ride. Or at least, that's my fantasy. But this is Tangled Dimensions, and in that story there always ended up being SOMETHING playing cock-blocker between the Ray-Xaina shipping. Usually that something was a demon or some other such spiritual entity, but this time it's the orgy of other playable characters always surrounding them and Square's assumption that Kan gets himself into a foursome ("who's the third and forth, Ray?" Another time).

The main reason I killed time and text space there was because these guys don't do much. Since nothing's going wrong on their end besides Banon being a brick wall between Rayfer and Xaina, they arrive on schedule south of Steampunk Iceland. They march up, kill the occasional random encounter, and are kicked out by a couple of assheads who are too stubborn to listen to Rayfer politely asking to be let in with clarifications that they're not here to force Whiterun to join the Stormcloaks.



We also get proof that Ray isn't gay in the homo sense. Even despite it being may on the day of this posting oh look some hay, okay. Olay! Hooray! Hey! Back to speaking. We sneak in through a cave and meet up with our Stormcloak contact. That's it.

Part 4: "Treasure Hunting", Another Text Box, And  Filler

Back in the Median World, the omnipresent Moogle pretends to follow my commands when in reality I'm going exactly where it wants me to go. I'm curious as to how Kan's doing. Oh, he's running from Imperials. Fun. I didn't take many screenshots, because it mostly consisted of Kan running from place to place Treasure Hunting* people's clothes to sneak by other people. Now he's treasure hunting this lowly Imperial Grunt's armor and-



...

...

...pffffft

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHBAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

*wipes tear from his eye* God, I laughed too hard at that. Why did I think that was so funny? XD

Ok, Kan, just for that, the next pair of boobs that join the party will be yours to pursue and be shipped with, because Xaina's mine and I'm tired of pretending there's a love triangle involved.

Continuing onward, we eventually find ourselves sneaking into underground basements to get to secret exits out of the city BUT WAIT! What do we have here? An ex-imperial damsel being tied up and possibly on the verge of being molested by a couple of non-ex-imperial grunts? AND WHAT'S THIS? A BLACK SCREEN OF CHARACTER INTRODUCTION?



Hm...well I'm out of significant TD females that aren't Kindrah, Viish (who never even saw the light of an appearance), or demons, and since I refuse to throw in any more of my own creations into this since I already have two, and that's already pushing it when we have 14 nameable characters and a lot of people who need to make an appearance, I'm going to go with...



Yay, Runalot gets represented! Albeit by his chick character whose only significant act in the RP was create a love triangle for Firo...but hey, Runalot went off the grid out of nowhere at one point in the past, so this is what he gets. And since Hope clearly has breasts, as promised I destine that Kan and Hope shall be shipped, regardless of what the game decides is their fate. Just like me shipping Raina.

So yeah, you have your own woman now. Back off my hot green-haired traumatized magic amnesiac! Or at least maintain a distinct friendzone.

The two newly-united now sprint about through a crypt, discovering hidden ribbons and armor and such and eventually making it to safety on the surface outside the sieged town. Yaaaaaay!

They make their way north and eventually find themselves at Steampunk Iceland as well. Two down, one more final trip to the median plane to visit that bizarre Moogle...

Part 5: The Kenicles of Keneth, Part Ken—the Kenning.

While Rayfer and Xaina merely got an awkward raft ride thanks to Banon preventing chemistry from happening and Kan got a silly pun and a woman while spelunking a crypt, Ken gets his own little adventure across THE ENTIRE OTHER HALF OF THE WORLD. I am not even joking here. Play the game for yourself, because this logging won't do it justice.

The beginning was too interesting for me to remember photographing, so you get to imagine pictures from babbling walls of text. Yaaaaay. Keneth survives, spoilers, and ends up taking a nap on the shoreline quite a bit aways off course. When he decides he's got a decent tan, he wanders off to a nearby house. Standing edgily by a nearby well, we run into the one, the only, Slash himself. And his little dog, too. His name is Interceptor. He's named that because he has a chance of blocking and countering if someone hits Slash, and also because I wasn't given a text box to name him "Moar". Final Fantasy VIII allowed me to do that with Rinoa's dog, but I lost interest in that game shortly after that point, and then I got this game and completely forgot about it until I made that joke. Don't worry, Moar, your time will come.

Slash decides "Meh, screw this well. I'd rather run half-way across the world with a stranger for no money than stand here and pretend to be edgy and mysterious. Besides, I need another side to sit on the fence over." and decides to tag along with whatever the heck Keneth's doing. Since we're blocked off by mountains, the only way to go is the exact opposite direction of where we need to go. Better than standing around a well like Slash was doing, at least. This wandering eventually puts us at an Imperial Camp, which is poised to attack a nearby castle. Keneth and Slash hide around somewhere, I assume to take a pee, and to avoid giving Japan a chance to play some creepy urine fight bromance, we're taken to the perspective of inside the now-being-attacked castle. Soldiers are panicking, but one brave soul decides to metaphorically headslap them with a motivational mini-monologue. The game doesn't tell you, but his last name is "Garramonde", which I (probably falsely) pronounce "G-air-a-Monday", rhymes with "Scare-a-doneday". You'll see why I point this out momentarily. And now I remembered pictures.



And then we're given the Black Screen of Character Introduction!



Ok, let's see...the most Mexican-looking guy who will ever join the party, has a tale of love, loss, and revenge, uses Shakespearian phrases in an attempt to hide his Mexican heritage...meh, two out of three's enough for me. This guy's name is...

LLLLLLLIGHTNING GARRAMONDE! AIAIAIAIAIAIAIAIAI OLAY, SEÑOR! *cue Tex-Mex fighting music with la cucaracha in the background*

...Oh wait, "Lighting" is three characters too many. Crap. Well, that hasn't stopped us before, so you'll just have to imagine four more letters when the name "Light" pops up.



FIGHT!

I was too busy trying to figure out his special move to take screenshots, so no fighting animations, sadly. I was also captivated by the plot twistish thing that happened after Lightning emerged victorious, so no screenshots of that. Instead, I skip to a foursome of pictures on Lightning's aforementioned tale of Love, Loss, and Revenge.









"You killed my family. Prepare to die." *da de-de-doo!*

Keneth and Slash, now done with their bathroom break and free of any sick yaoi possibilities, arrive on the scene and lend a hand to our Wannabe-British Mexican swordsman.



Our trio fight through the camp, kick a certain clown's heinie a couple of times which I was enjoying too much to capture (pssssst, if I enjoyed it too much to take a picture, that usually means I'm keeping away spoilers of what make the scene awesome, to encourage playing it yourself. Shhhhhh), and escape. Now where do we go? Northeast to Steampunk Ice Caps at last?

NNNNNOPE! We have to go even further South for reasons that won't be clear to the player until the near end of Keneth's adventure unless they cheat with a guide or come from the future and read ahead in this thread.

We end up in the usual enchanted forest of the undead, and instead of finding the exit, we find a train.





Lightning Garramonde attempts to comment on Keneth's Sonic the Hedgehog Pose and point out the fact that this train happens to be a one way trip to Hell, but it's not very effective until they get on the train and find the door locked behind them. Frick.



A few fights with evil ghosts later, we run into a friendly one.





Since this ghost is never named, and I want to continue forcing in cameos for people who weren't directly involved with TD, I'm going to name her Kat. Kat Ghostie. Light finds out Kat's a she and not a he, she hits on Light off-screen, they possibly have an intangible dry fling, and we move on as a Full Party.



Crap, why am I suddenly full of off-color jokes? Ugh. I've been surrounded by too many perverts in my college days. Or I've watched too many RoosterTeeth videos. Probably both. Oh well, moving on.



Keneth shamelessly eats a meal served by what I assume is one of Ghostie's cousins.



Eh, guess he has a point. Eat away! Cure those HP bars and status effects!

Ghostie later sacrifices herself to fight this "Jack-in-a-box" style OP enemy I ran into when I opened this one chest...she knew there was no way we could survive unless she used her "possess" ability in the fight to stop it. Well, on the bright side, I'm assuming this means her soul was put to rest and she had atoned for whatever got her on this train we're on.

We get to the front of the train, try to stop it, and then are faced with the boss of this dungeon...

...the train itself?



I just want to say this is probably the most hilarious fight of the game to look at. The picture doesn't do this justice. The three are literally running as fast as they possibly can away from the speeding hell-train with their stubby sprite legs. The game is made even more comical by the best strategy for this normally-heavily-difficult fight, which Slash picked up on.







Instant death. No joke. Every Final Fantasy game is like that, actually, having at least one undead zombie/ghost boss that can be killed by throwing an X-Potion or Phoenix Down at it. It's amazing.

The train decides to be nice since we kicked its butt with a healing item and lets us off before speeding back up and leaving again, but not before our Mexican Shakespeare Fanatic can spot his departed wife and child ridding away on the back of the train.







And on that saddening note, I conclude this entry. Congratulations, Ken, your bizarre sense of direction that starts a massive adventure is going to span into a two-parter! Will Keneth ever realize that Steampunk Ice Caps is North, not South? Will LLLLLIGHTNING GARRAMONDE! ever quit the Olde English Samurai charade? Will Slash pick a side by the end of this adventure? ...Probably not, considering according to my sources he was scripted to have a chance to randomly leave the party after any battle not on the Phantom Train, and I got extremely lucky. But stay tuned for next entry when we possibly find the answer to the other questions, and hopefully conclude Keneth's Epic of an adventure.

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PostSubject: Re: Tangled Dimensions RPG vFINAL(fantasy).6   Tue 27 May 2014, 10:25 am

YOU DIDN'T SUPLEX THE TRAIN!
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PostSubject: Re: Tangled Dimensions RPG vFINAL(fantasy).6   Tue 27 May 2014, 10:36 am

It was too heavy, ok?

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PostSubject: Re: Tangled Dimensions RPG vFINAL(fantasy).6   Tue 03 Jun 2014, 12:41 pm

Part 6: The Kenicles of Keneth, Part KenKen: The SeKend Kenning

After LLLLLIGHTNING GARRAMONDE! sobbed in grief as his wife and child rode the Hell Train to HELL Heaven, our trio move southward and climb a mountain overlooking basically Niagara Falls. At this point, I answer one of the questions I posed at the end of the previous entry...



What he WANTS to say is "Screw you guys. I'm too neutral and edgy to jump off a cliff with you losers, especially after you idiots ended up walking onto the Hell Train. Also I'm late for my "Standing Around Edgily So the Other Side Hires Me" appointment...and I need to change my pants. Just this once I'll consider that Phoenix Down I threw as your payment for my services. Whatever."

Of course, he's too edgy and mysterious for monologues like that, so he cops out of jumping with what the screenshot says he said. Keneth and Lightning, however, are manly enough to not only jump off a cliff, but also to slide down the waterfall and fight fishies as they fall.



Eventually gravity does its job and Keneth lands, taking a nap on the shore.



At this point, you normal people are probably asking "wait so why the heck did they jump off that cliff again? What exactly did that accomplish? Aren't we now even further away from our goal of Steampunk Iceland/Ice Caps? Also why do you inconsistently jump between calling it "Ice Caps" and "Iceland"? What is wrong with you, Ray?"

The rest of you (the majority) are paying more attention to that green haired fellow. Because of this, he gets a Black Screen of Character Introduction!



He pokes us with a stick then runs away as Keneth is woken from his nap.

Now let's see...Ray's already gotten a much more important role, and doesn't quite fit the "savage" persona. So who would be more befitting a wild, simple-speaking, meat-loving, somewhat comical being whose only real reason for joining is his enthusiastic love of the gift of meat from Keneth and Light?





Yup. That's right. Good 'old Mecha has joined the fray with an extra E for good measure.













Meh, personally I think of him closer to the "chaotic neutral woman-stealer Treasure Hunter" category



Well, dear Keneth, mostly because I would hate for Mecha to not be represented, and also because shiny thing is shiny.

Then this thing pops up to explain how Meecha does his thing



...I'm going to assume that..."thing" is Alpha. Yeah, that's totally Alpha. Canon.

Around this time we learn from local townspeople in a nearby town why Keneth's magical adventure took us all the way around the world...and no, it's not so we can have an excuse to explore more of the World Map and pick up a Mexican swordsman and a meat-lover. There's this massive underwater current, the equivalent of the East Australian Current, that goes straight from the bottom left corner of this continent up to a port town that can take the party directly to Steampunk Ice Caps on the correct side of those mountains we had to go on this adventure to pass in the first place.

At this point the normal people start asking "Wait, so how do they expect to survive in an underwater current like that?!" while the rest of you just nod your heads with an "Ok, ok, can we go look for Meecha's shiny thing now?" Yes we can, yes we can.

Meecha gave us some very helpful directions upon our meeting. So helpful, in fact, that I would prefer you play the game yourself to see them =P

...And then he forgets where he put it.



But that's okay because once we get to the general direction he remembers and digs it up!





Excellent observation, Light/LLLLLIGHTNING GARRAMONDE!/Mr. Thou. But this dirty glass golden bowl will be our Shining Ticket of Victory that we shall redeem at the Gilded Toll Booth of Freedom to access the Highway of Resolution that leads to the Land of the End of This Epic Adventure. I know, aw/boooooo *tomato toss*. All we have to do is jump off yet another cliff, jam that thing onto all three of our heads so it magically covers each of us independently and invisibly, then ride the Serpent's Trench alongside a fleet of Californian turtles.



Meecha's a bit hung up on the "jump off a cliff" part. But for Keneth and Light this is a completely normal experience and nothing abnormal whatsoever. They jump, they live, they ride the underwater current, fight a few fishies and other aquatic animal-ies, then Keneth takes a nap on the Pier.



When he awakes from his slumber, the trio go for a quick drink (of milk) at the Pub (and dairy shop). They meet a new friend.



Lightning decides he wants to hit on his new lady friend, but since he's still trying to put up the Olde English Mexican Swordsman act, he can't utilize any tactic except Hard to Get.





The funny thing is, it works





Lightning's gawking at Humpty and trying to avoid eye contact with Dumpty, Keneth's shocked that Light's on the verge of getting laid despite being one of the oldest people here, and Meecha's freaking out because they gave him Fat Free Milk. He ordered 2%, condemnit! TWO. PERCENT. 2% Meat Chunks, to be precise. AND THEY GIVE HIM FRICKIN' FAT FREE? No! Never!

Lightning panics, and Keneth gives him a metaphorical shoulder punch.



Apparently Keneth has tamed his crotch-based organs and is not phased by whores.



Y'see, this is why all the Keyblade Masters are trained from a young age like Sora, so they can swing around a keyblade without puberty taking over when they're presented temptations to "unlock some hearts".

...Well Keneth thought it was funny.



Well now that I've poisoned Ken's mind with that spawn of sleep deprivation, let's get on a boat



They're probably fine. They've likely been waiting a month on you to finish this stupid two-part magical adventure, but Kan got himself a woman and Rayfer...got an awkward boat ride with a woman. But that's besides the point. We're here! The adventure's over! Yaaaaaay!



Oh dear. Meecha's going to hurl on the deck. I TOLD YOU he should have been given 2%! I'm not cleaning that up. Mostly because I'm not there anymore. Mwahahahaha.

Part 7: You Get a Magic, and YOU Get a Magic, EVERYONE GETS A MAGIC!

That title is probably a bit preemptive. Bah, who cares. Despite Rayfer's involvement, diplomacy with Ice Caps is crap because the Ice Capians are stubborn idiots. Then, defying all logic of the passage of time, Keneth and co somehow beat Kan to the meeting!

REUNION!



After introducing everyone to everyone, Kan walks in with Hope. What took you two so long? Keneth went on an adventure AROUND THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD and STILL beat you! Were you two being...held up by anything? Eh? Ehhhhhhh? Eh. Well anyways, Kan introduces his new girlfriend as an ex-imperial general, which makes Mr. Familykilledbytheimperials very upset. But Kan, noble young man he is, jumps in the middle to defend his newfound love.


(Excellent. That's it. Hope is yours to protect and hold and cherish. Not Xaina. Hope. You can only protect Xaina, and strictly in a Secret Service anonymously-sacrifice-yourself-to-save-her-life kind of way. Friendzone.)

Suddenly, the Imperials attack. DUN DUN DUUUUUUN! They're after the thingie Xaina telepathically communicated with that got her knocked out at the beginning of the game, but this time they're not getting it! Because of how large this game's cast is, I get to do something very cool in sequences like this where I divide the team up into groups and command them to key parts of a battlefield to engage the oncoming enemy forces and tactically make my way to the Commander with my Alpha Team. I didn't take screenshots because it was too fun. I also didn't take a screenshot of the scene after that, because SPOILERS. All you need to know is that Xaina disappeared. Crap! Kan finally has his own woman, things are looking good, then suddenly <PLOT TWIST> happens to throw a wrench in the Rayfer-Xaina shipping. Again. Alright, because our cast is so huge, we can only take four people. The rest will stay behind and clean up the bodies. ALPHA TEAM, ASSEMBLE!



...

*The rest of the team laughs at Rayfer's lower level*

"...Ok, give me a break here, all you guys got to go on adventures and get hoards of EXP while I just got an awkward boat ride with the girl who just suffered a plot twist and an old man with sunglasses...*shamefully looks away*"

That embarrassing note aside, it's time to seek out Xaina! First off, a pit stop to stock up on an arsenal of butt-eviscerating gadgets for Rayfer back at his glorious Desert Castle. Oh, and for the record, these tools, namely the CHAINSAW, which has a chance to INSTANTLY KILL A TARGET is at this moment the most powerful attack in the game. And I'm two levels below you people. Suck on that. THAT is why I remain Alpha Team Leader. Also because of this.





Hah. Rayfer's actually a pretty nice guy. Some women may say TOO nice, but hey, he's a gentleman. What can I say?

Anyways, we are now stopped in our tracks by a mountain range blocking us from the place we need to go. Frick! Does that mean we have to go on a magical adventure around the other side of the planet to jump into a random underwater current in order to reach a pier that can take us to our destination and recruit two new party members along the way?

Haha, nope. Because Rayfer's Castle not only is in a desert and is awesome, it can DIVE UNDERGROUND and tunnel over to and raise up in ANOTHER desert! Yeah, that was going to be the next step in Minecraft if we ever got New New Shamar 2.0 actually finished. Anyways, upon emersion from the sands, we take off to visit a nearby town to stop for direction. On the way, we run into Kan's house and see his basement, which...has his comatose girlfriend being tended by a clearly-insane alchemist?



...Dang, dude. You could have brought this up sooner, you know. I mean...dang. Also Hope becomes very jealous very quickly. I can only imagine what would happen if Kan managed to lead Xaina on as well and she saw this. Thankfully, that's not happening anymore while Rayfer's alive, so this foursome between Kan, Xaina, Hope, and this "Rachel" chick that Square's wanting is never going to happen.

On a more comical note, this line made me briefly think I should have made Kan's character "Batman" and be Lightning's counterpart, but then I stopped being stupid and moved on.

Several minutes or hours of directions and shopping and exploration and random encounters, we end up parkouring through a raining thief city to climb to the top of a building.



Awesomeness.

At the top of this building, we find Xaina...who due to the plot twist I am not going to go into, is now a naked white-purple chick. Heck yes.



Unfortunately, she's basically traumatized and comatose right now. Since this game wasn't made by Disney, a true love's kiss isn't going to fix it. And since this game wasn't made by Bioware, a somewhat-love's banging isn't going to fix it either. So what do we do? Well let's ask Mosses.



I mean Ramuh. Since these summons are legendary recurring Final Fantasy characters (and because this isn't Final Fantasy VIII where I could name them myself), there will be no parallels drawn with them. Anyways, basically Ramuh tells us in order to fix Xaina we should free these "Espers" (magic summons that actually have individual plot significance in this game) from the Imperial Army's lab thingie, and let them transform into pretty rocks so we can learn their powers. To help us, him and three of his buddies who have been hiding out here transform into pretty rocks that we can pick up.

Now, here's the catch...The Imperial's base thing? It's on this southern continent on the world map that no ships are allowed to sail to, so the only way to get there is by airship, which basically no one outside of the Empire has. Frick. I guess we'll figure that hurdle out later

Ok, let's see...Besides Ramuh the Lightning Guy, who do we have up here...



A less than useful Final Fantasy VII Character...



A chick whose original sprite in the SNES version is naked...



And a horse thing that teaches healing spells.

Ok, basically, when we assign one of these bad boys to a character, after every battle we all get some "AP", the amount of AP we get will increase the percentages of the various spells these things can teach us. This increase is multiplied by the little numbers next to the individual spells. When it reaches 100%, the character learns that spell. If a character has all the spells that an Esper can teach, then in some cases they'll get a bonus stat upgrade.

Now let's divide these things up and go on our merry way.



Hope already knows "Cure", so no Kirin for her. Instead, she gets Ramuh so she can learn more destructive magic spells.



Rayfer gets Kirin first because Ray likes having healing spells, and also because he is Alpha Team's Leader.



Keneth, you get the hot chick because we're currently out of female characters to ship you with.



Kan, you get the useless Final Fantasy VII Character Who Would Have Been Better In That Game if Square Actually Succeeded In Making Him the Comic Relief They Wanted Him to Be. On the bright side, he'll teach you how to fly.

And with that note, I conclude this part so the team can rack their brains to try to figure out where the heck they're supposed to get an airship. And also to do some fun monster-slaying to learn their first spells and play Musical Espers so everyone at least learns Cure. Farewell for now, unless you're from the future!

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PostSubject: Re: Tangled Dimensions RPG vFINAL(fantasy).6   Tue 03 Jun 2014, 12:51 pm

I'm so old and wise.

Also Ray promised more orgy of images.
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PostSubject: Re: Tangled Dimensions RPG vFINAL(fantasy).6   Tue 03 Jun 2014, 2:32 pm

I CANNOT TELL A LIE, BUT I WILL TELL YOU THAT I AIN'T A PLAYBOY OR A CHARMER, I'M JUST AN AWKWARD MAN THAT THE CHICKS DIG. SOMETIMES IT'S HORRIBLE.
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PostSubject: Re: Tangled Dimensions RPG vFINAL(fantasy).6   Tue 03 Jun 2014, 2:37 pm

Right. Of course. Play the innocent victim. The ladies dig that too. I've seen what you do later, Kan. Just wait and see, condemnit. Just wait and see.

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PostSubject: Re: Tangled Dimensions RPG vFINAL(fantasy).6   Tue 03 Jun 2014, 9:01 pm

I feel like pursuing a relationship with a siren is not within my best interests.
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PostSubject: Re: Tangled Dimensions RPG vFINAL(fantasy).6   Tue 03 Jun 2014, 9:09 pm

Nah, it's the best thing. If it makes you feel better, though, Siren takes the quickest to master of these four so she gets around a lot.

...Awwwww yeah.

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PostSubject: Re: Tangled Dimensions RPG vFINAL(fantasy).6   Thu 05 Jun 2014, 9:17 pm

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PostSubject: Re: Tangled Dimensions RPG vFINAL(fantasy).6   Sun 08 Jun 2014, 9:53 pm

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PostSubject: Re: Tangled Dimensions RPG vFINAL(fantasy).6   Thu 12 Jun 2014, 12:31 pm

Part 8: The Show, the Show-Off, and the Sho-OH GOD IT'S THAT THING

It's a new page! Yay, another URL for me to flood with screenshots of a game I'm totally not just playing and naming all the main cast after Tangled Dimensions characters and special individuals.

When we last left our heroes, the almighty Alpha Team (currently composed of Team Tactician Rayfer, Resident Hot Chick Hope, Team woman-stealer Treasure Hunter Kan, and Muscleman Kung Fu keyblade Master Keneth) acquired some new, spell-teaching, stat-boosting friends. But you already knew that because you read the previous page...right? ...RIIIIIIGHT?

Anyways, Lightning and Meecha were summoned from sitting around aimlessly at Steampunk Iceland to sitting aimlessly around our comatose other Resident Hot Chick, Xaina. Who, might I add, is currently in a hot naked White-Purple form. If you haven't read the previous page that's enough of a reason to make you click that "1" button.

Alpha Team, without anywhere else to go without an Airship, decides to return to the nearby town for some drinks (of milk) and to invade the privacy of local mansion-owners. And ooh, it looks like they came at a good time! Let's open this envelope that just came in for some chick that lives here with a fat guy.



...Well that's not creepy or stalker-like at all.

Kan decides to ask the butler about the guy this is from.



The answer is this guy.



Oh look, an airship. I will admit, for a creepy perv from what we know so far, this guy doesn't look half-bad. He looks oddly different from the string of generic NPCs. I wonder why-ohlook, a Black Screen of Character Introduction. Well that answers that question.



...Hrm...Care-free attitude, does everything possible to dance around morals and in doing such is notably perverted, has scars all over his face for "style"...



...And is a complete show-off. Well this is an easy one.

Also the Impresario is BlastedPiñata. Not because if you screw the name up enough and find a treasure map on the back of the American Constitution you can link the two together through an Illuminati circle-jerk, but because this is the only line this guy will ever say as far as my screenshots are concerned. Unless the end of the world transpires, this guy will only stand in the background of various pictures saying nothing important, if anything.

Anyways, ok, Black Screen of Character Introduction = Future Playable Character, this one happens to have an airship, a vehicle we need to get the plot moving...See where we're going with this?

...Oh, you want me to reveal the identity of the aforementioned guy who got a Black Screen of Character Introduction? Be, patient, ok! God. You readers are so needy. Ok, so this perv guy is going to kidnap this Maria chick who apparently looks like Hope, and BP doesn't like that, and the show starts in like, an hour before BP uses hax to ban us from winning the game. Well crap, this is quite the predicam-



Oh condemnit Kan! I was going to build up to that with a couple more roundabout paragraphs to kill space! Ugh. You ruin everything. Just shove Hope into the Dressing Room so this plan can get into motion. Hope's gotta play a lead role in an Opera. Not too hard, since it's mostly just incoherent yelling anyway.



...See? She's doing fine! Now let's go take our seats and enjoy the sho-OH GOD THERE IT IS THERE IT IS THERE'S THAT DAMNED RETARDED OCTOPUS! I GOT YOU ON CAMERA NOW, YOU 8-ARMED FRICKIN'-



...He...he killed the suspense of who the new guy is. HE FRICKIN' KILLED MY SUSPENSE. NO ONE KILLS MY SUSPENSE AND GETS AWAY WITH IT! NO ONE! That purple pussy is dead, do you hear me? DEAD!!!

Well since that damned octopus spoiled it already, yes. Congratulations, Firo, you are the proud owner of the Darklasher and get a fancy-looking sprite in exchange for being a womanizer, the dreaded luck-based "Gambler" class, and having your name mispronounced. Is it worth it? Well I'm a King of a Submersible Desert Castle with some of the most OP early-game attacks and useful mid-game attacks in exchange for being an unrestrained flirt and always a lower level than my cohorts, and I consider that worth it, so I guess it's up to you.

For barely-above-SNES-level graphics, I gotta say the game did a pretty superb job with the pit orchestra and stage pieces for this next scene...so I'm not going to show those. Still frames don't do it justice, anyway, just like the Phantom Train battle.

With Act 1, Scene 1 accomplished, Kan's bored.



Uh-huh. Sure. Just "checking on things". That's totally the only reason you want to pay a visit to the current Resident Hottie while she's currently in the dressing room, possibly getting dressed for her role. Checking ON things, or checking out *things*? No worries, man, I'm sure Rayfer would be doing the same thing if it was Xaina who looked like an opera singer and was being tasked with being the decoy for a pervo with an Airship. I won't judge.

On the other hand, at least Keneth is man enough to voice his boredom to the rest of us.



Excellent question, Keneth. I'm sure the Impresario and Rayfer will gladly spend the next several minutes educating you on the subject.

...Now if you will excuse me, I'm going to sneak on over as the narrator to follow Kan's much-more-interesting Dressing Room Infiltration.



Oh great, looks like I got here just in time.



No, no, no, Kan, that's not how you secure yourself a woman so you can stop pretending to have a crush on mine! Well, unless Hope likes awkward. Fingers crossed.



She didn't acknowledge the question...so far so good...



(+5 Hope)

There ya go, Kan, that's much better.

The subsequent scenes were too interesting and/or concentration-demanding for me to take screenshots, the less I say the better, but it's fantastic. Definitely a high moment in the game. Faaaaaaaaast forward!



Ohhhhhh no you don't! No you frickin' don't. I've got a spear, twenty crossbow bolts, a poison canon, a drill, and a frickin' CHAINSAW addressed to your DAMNED INK-BRAINED HEAD!

...Oh yeah, and Kan's knives and Keneth's fists, too. (Kan has a Genji glove; he can dual wield)

HYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!

*Much filler brawl sound effects and cat screeches to occupy the space where I didn't take screenshots when storming the railings to reach Ultros*

*Dust settles, the stage has been wrecked in the carnage and two of the major actors have been knocked unconscious.*

Rayfer: ...Well that went well.

Ok, so, the play's basically ruined now. Whoops. Uh...improv?





(+10 Hope)

Meh, close enough. Wait...OH CONDEMNIT THAT OCTO-PUSSY IS STILL ALIVE.



Not if I'M in this party! (Oh and Keneth too. Blitzes are about at the point where they're really handy. Not as much as chainsaws and drills at this point, but pretty dang close.) 

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! SAW. SLASH-STAB(steal). PUNCHPUNCHPUNCH. SAW. SAW. SAW. YES! VICTORY IS-



CONDEMNIT.

I swear, that thing will die-no, he'll WISH he'd die before the credits roll! THIS I SWEAR! 

WHILE I YELL AND TYPE IN ALL CAPS TO COMMUNICATE MY RAGE, THE LIGHTS CONVENIENTLY GO OUT AND A SPOTLIGHT HITS HOPE AS FEYRO MAKES HIS MOVE TO-waitwaitwait what? 





Frick. Not only did I just let this guy have his annoyingly show-off entrance, I amplified it by announcing it in all caps. Well played, Feyro, well frickin' played.

I'd like to take a moment to point out yet another Sonic the Hedgehog pose by yet another character. I'm starting to think this is supposed to be an Easter Egg recurring joke referencing Tangled Dimension's origins as a semi-crappy Sonic fan fiction. Works for me!

Also, since this is the point where normally I would have revealed Firo's identity, I will slip in a little fun fact: originally I had planned to assign our resident Aussie to a much...different character. I'll point it out when we eventually recruit that character in the distant future, so here's the suspense to make up for the name being dropped too early =P

Feyro seizes Hope and drags her to his ship, tossing her into a room and locking her in so he can go grab a condom.



I'm telling you, man, this guy's a perv. While Feyro gets lubed up, Hope secretly opens a hatch so the rest of the team can sneak onboard.



...Not sure whether to make that a (+2 Hope) or (-3 Hope). Let's take a vote on that in the comments.

Feyro returns, lubed up and ready to go, but then he sees that there's three extra people in the room that have the wrong genitalia for his tastes. With four against one and Feyro not having his ultimate weapon yet, a battle is avoided, so instead of Plan A: Assault we move on to Plan B: Bribing.



Unfortunately, Feyro here is actually a TRUE gambler and doesn't really care about how much money he gets or loses.

...However, he does fall for Plan C without us having to even put it in motion.







(+3 Hope, -2 Feyro)

What does C stand for? Uh..."cute", obviously. Certainly not the derogatory terms for a female's genitalia or a male's ejaculate.

Appealing to his gambling spirit, our clever Rayfer conspires with Hope and they put the fate of Hope's marital status into a coin toss. One that Feyro realizes too late is a crooked coin toss. Luckily, though, Feyro's a good sport about being conned.





Ken should somewhat recognize that quote from a brief minor character in a certain franchise he particularly adores. Yeah, Firo's character is that guy. Don't worry, he's not like that alteration in that he won't promise a ton of our money to the enemy in exchange for offing themselves, but it still might pain/excite you knowing that Firo will now forever be associated with that character, or vice versa if that makes it a half full/half empty thing for you.

Of course, the main big deal here is that now we have an Airship! Yaaaaaaay! Time to progress the plot so we can get our other Resident Hottie back to a non-comatose state! Off to the Southern Continent (and the next part) we go.

Part 9: -1 Hot Chick, +1 Moogle, and like +20 Magic Friends

We can't land directly by the Imperial City, so first we stop in a nearby town for some drinks (of Milk) and find the place full of Firos.



One Cross-Continental Shopping trip, one Imperial City Infiltration, and a couple boss fights later, we meet the first two of a massive wave of new Magic-Teaching friends.



...The other one is the mighty legendary Ifrit. I am a horrible person for not getting a screenshot of picking him up.

Stuff happens. We find like twenty more magic friends trapped in tubes. Ifrit shows them how to become useful. Play the damned game yourself. I'd like to point out that you will be hearing that from me a lot more over the rest of the thread, because I refuse to drop major spoilers or fun stuff. Instead you'll get less-than-important things, like mustached men in rain coats.



Behold the game's resident Cid...huh. After FF7's Cid Highwind, every other Cid I've seen in FF games is quite underwhelming.

And, uh, the Cid in this TD game is underwhelming too! Yeah. Well, er, he's perplexed by magic gems. They do something awesome...then something even more awesome and plot-twistish happens. What happens? Play the damned game. All you need to know is that Hope saved us, and saved me from having to spoil with screenshots. But now, well, she gone.



Yeah, man...I know. It sucks, doesn't it? Things coming out of nowhere to throw a wrench in your relationship. It hurts, right? Yeah. Now you slightly understand my pain.

Well more importantly at the moment, we now have no active Hot Chicks/Party Mages. Frick. That's not good.



Shut up, Cid, I'm not going to spoil it for the readers just because YOU ask. I will however allow you to do what you do after this which the readers aren't going to know about.

Several battles and minecart rides later, we make it outside the facility despite the gaping hole in our party. We have the magic friends, we should get back to Xaina so we can get one of our Resident Hot Chicks back!

On the way back...



Oh. Okay. Uh...sure? I guess we could use a 4th.

Seriously, though...that portrait just creeps me out every time I look at it. I trained my eyes to stop paying Attention to the portraits after awhile. The sprites look better 90% of the time.

We make it back to the Darklasher only to be set upon by robotic hands ascending around the deck. Oh noes! FIGHT!



Feyro has an impressive standard attack, I will say. It will quickly lose its luster for awhile, but it's still cool-looking. Maybe I'll screenshot it later when I'm not gawking. In the meantime, though, I leave you with the paradox that is how we killed that last arm.



^Feyro's special ability is Slots, which is a slot machine that gives a random attack. I got lucky and triggered the one where the airship swoops in and rams the enemy...now if that went over your head, remember we are currently fighting ON the airship, and Feyro called in the AIRSHIP to swoop in front of us to attack the ARM which is attacking the AIRSHIP...which we are fighting on top of.

Alright, if you weren't already confused then that wording should be confusing enough to give you the appropriate headache. Off we go.

Returning to our comatose Resident Hot Chick, the magic stuff starts glowing and vibrating around Xaina.



Evidently this shocked our newest party member so much they temporarily became feminine. More importantly, Xaina speaks! If you're of the crowd that knows "Aerith Dies", "The final boss of FF(#) is Angel/God [antagonist's name]", and "Darth Vader is Luke's Father", chances are you at least have heard in the back of your mind what the following screenshot reveals about Xaina's backstory in this iteration of Tangled Dimensions. In case you don't (I was one of the few people who didn't know Aerith dies until some jack-heads in Middle School blabbed it off when I was in the middle of Disc 1, so I can sympathize with the ignorant) I'll put it in spoiler bars.

Spoiler:
 

For those who don't want spoilers and such, or those returning from spoilers, this is the most important thing you need to know about the vision we as the players receive.



Behold the secondary antagonist, General Tullius. AKA Darkus.

After that, Xaina learns how to put her clothes back on, and also gains her Special Ability, which allows her to take them off and turn into Sexy White-Purple Mode again for a short period of time which doubles her magic power and the damage of her attacks. Most importantly, she rejoins the party to fill the void of Resident Hot Chick that is missing in Alpha Team. Yaaaaaay!



Now before we head off to carry out the one thing from this section's title that I haven't covered, there's one obvious thing we have to take care of first...





Alright, back to Steampunk Ice Caps! First off, Roboman has some news for us:



Frickin' FINALY. These guys have been doing more fence-sitting than Slash so far. So what's our next move, then? An all-out assault on those Imperial Dogs? A hunt for Kefka? A quest to recover the other Resident Hot Chick?

...Nope. We're going to chase a Werewolf pickpocket through the town to a cliff as part of an optional sidequest.



NO! NOT THE MOOGLE! ANYTHING BUT THAT! Moogles for some reason force smiles an laughter to occur on my face! Luckily, this Moogle can kick some Wolfman butt and broke free of his hostage position with the magical power of SLAM-dancing and the most happiestness-inducing word ever.



...Wait, "magical power"? "Most happiestness-inducing word ever"? "SLAM-dancing?" A Moogle throwing a Wolfman off a cliff and pretending to give us a choice between saving him from falling off a cliff and saving the wolfman for a little relic? A talking Moogle in a game made before the 21st Century? 



Oh, which, uh, this game was also at the same time made recently! Of course...Eh, the point is, when you take a step back this Moogle and the previous two paragraphs make absolutely no sense. Wait a second...could this be...uh oh, a Black Screen of a Character Introduction.



Wait...

Dancing...

SLAM-Dancing...

We find him in Ice Caps...

Is this...

How...

No...

Oh God...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!



IT'S GEORGE. IT'S FRICKIN' GEORGE. WE'RE ALL DOOMED, I TELL YOU. DOOOOOOOOOOMED!!! IT'S THE FIRST SIGN OF THE END OF THE WORLD! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!



Well...he got the Black Screen, he's a frickin' Moogle, he'll be incredibly useful later on, and we'll never see a Moogle be a major playable character ever again in the Final Fantasy Tangled Dimensions series, so I guess we'll just have to keep him. Besides, Meecha could use a new friend to play "Hide and Eat" with on the Darklasher while the adults are off adventuring. The last pet we brought him lost the game.

Well I think I've actually put down more pictures in this post than I have in any other post...that's not healthy for page loading times, even if this is a fresh page. That said, I think I'll just give you guys a break so the fact of George being a party member can set in and maybe we can all calm down and get used to his involvement-



NO, GEORGE! NOOOOOOOOOOO!

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